• Reciprocated love

    Some say unrequited love is real love but I can’t disagree more. Some say the less reciprocation there is, the more desire we have! I do believe they are horribly wrong. I would argue, however, that love without response is like an important question without an answer. I have been in love when I haven’t had the same reciprocated emotion, and it hurts. Not a pleasant soul pain like a sliver of autumn depression, but a nagging and joy-killing. Love has now suddenly arisen in my life and I feel that she really cares. She seems to see the imperfect me perfect. The love is mutually answered. The pictures are…

  • Falling in love or enamoured hope!

    In the Swedish everyday language there are several words for love, kind of reflecting the different stages of the “love relation process”. The first stage, when we are falling in love, is called “förälskad” and may translate into English as “enamoured”, or “amorous”, or simply “in love with”.  I am into research and maybe I theorise too much. Anyway, I mean that stage when it all feels great and we are full of hope and dreams. We hope that our lover will deliver on all the promises our earlier relationships failed to fulfil, and we dream of remaining in love forever. All our love hormones are overflowing. This truly is…

  • Sustainable love

    It is really not sustainable to give up the belief in love. I am absolutely convinced that love even can last a long time. The vast majority of my friends do live with love in long-term relationships. Yes, I know it may not always have been a dance on roses, but still, they stick together and seem to appreciate each other. Nowadays I feel completely convinced that there is a wonderful person also for me. A great and loving woman whom I appreciate and who can appreciate me. I am an incurable romantic and believe we can find a love that is genuine, in which I and she recognize each…

  • Love and expectations.

    I find love and expectations difficult and it doesn’t seem to get easier with age. I am a romantic and think that practical or comfortable love is boring, but what are realistic expectations? Does it mean I can forget a great love, forget that person who makes it feel like bumblebees are buzzing in my chest? Does having realistic expectations mean that I should settle for someone who is okay, and that I should be happy with a partner who isn’t great? Actually, I would generally be okay with a partner who is human, just like me, and who, like me, is imperfect. I don’t expect myself and my partner…

  • Without love!

    Love is not finding someone to live with, it’s finding the one you don’t want to live without! I tend to learn stepwise. Sudden insights make me understand. This quote on love made me realize that I have been chasing love the wrong way.  I am divorced since long, and am ashamed of not succeeding in the marriage. In addition, since my divorce I have not been able to keep a lasting love relation. This adds to my guilt. But, before I didn’t have the understanding I got from the quote above. Some years ago I actually stumbled upon the kind of love that is hard to live without. I haven’t realized this before. Unfortunately, she…

  • Autumn Melancholy!

    In the autumn it is easy to feel sadness, yet many people like the autumn. Nature changes color and the air becomes cold and clear. It gets dark in the evenings and you can crawl up on the couch under a blanket, and light candles. It’s cozy! Even if you have everything important in life, and life is good, you can always find something to feel sorry for, if you really want to. Sometimes it may even feel cozy to feel a little sorry for oneself. Is it perhaps so that the cozy thing about autumn is because it attracts one to self-pity. When it is cold, dark and rainy…

  • The winter rest has begun.

    The fourth season with my boat is over. It’s been a great boating season, the Stockholm archipelago is really amazing and discovering it by motorboat suits me perfectly. The boat has everything needed for a holiday and with a reasonably large crew you have comfort. With just two on board, it is pure luxury! It has never been the idea of having a boat, but on the longer archipelago trip, I had new company, even this season. If I were the least superstitious, I would think that there is a curse on the boat when it comes to companionship. It doesn’t matter, I love the boat anyway! Mange and Lollo,…

  • With autumn comes the rain!

    You, all my faithful followers know that I have found a new way of life, I commute to work on my new electric bike! Cycling has been fine so far, but now with autumn comes the challenges. The temperature has been really low a few mornings and it is raining more and more. Luckily, I’m pretty stubborn once I’ve decided! (Some would call it pride. You are not half-Finnish for nothing!) There is no bad weather, just bad clothes! A little rain won’t stop me. It’s so much fun to ride a bike. It is refreshing and relaxing, purely meditative. I am more present when I ride a bike and…

  • Righteousness and prejudice!

    Electric bicycle, it’s cheating! Ever since I started commuting to work on an electric pedal bike, I have encountered prejudice. The cheating accusations kick off my guilt and shame issues, and I get sad whenever I proudly tell someone that I have started commuting by electric bike, and hear that it is cheating. How’s that cheating? Either way, now I’ve been commuting on my electric bike for a month. Previously, with my regular 24-speed bike, I have not been able to maintain bike commuting for such a long period. It is great fun! I get lively and happy! I am proud of myself!

  • I think, that’s how I am!

    Adam, my youngest son used to tell me I was thinking too much. Nowadays he is also a thinker. I wonder if it is bad to think too much. What is too much? Does it apply to all kinds of thoughts? Isn’t thinking a human tool that generally is far too little used? Okay, I think a lot, maybe too much. But, I like to think. That’s how I am!

  • To exercise, or not!

    I regularly travel by bus to work. It’s nice to sit and think while I look through the bus window and listen to the sounds around me. By the way, smartphone headphones just fall out of my ears. It is convenient to ride the bus but I do not get much exercise. Regular job commuting by bike would definitely increase the chance of good health and a more attractive body. I have several times decided to cycle the almost 14 kilometers to work but it has never become a habit. I find great pleasure in technical gadgets with good features and a nice design. Furthermore, whenever I feel a little…

  • The second bloom!

    It is wonderful in the early summer when the roses bloom, but the second flowering in late summer is also lovely. I myself have for a long time tried to bring about a second flowering in my own life. I know, you should be careful about whining and appearing unsuccessful in social media, but this is not Facebook, and I write what I want in my own blog! Depending on how you look at it, I know I actually have a very good life, but I do miss a love partner and that lack occupies too much of my thoughts and feelings. My youngest son tells me I think too…

  • Fear is the new safe!

    We live in a time of security mania. Taking it safe before the uncertain seems to be an increasingly common mantra. But, putting yourself at risk does not necessarily have to be fatal.Lack of trust in a relationship can lead to an awkward feeling of insecurity. But, in order to build trust, we need the courage to be in uncertainty for a time.The saddest thing in this context is that the feeling of insecurity is often imagined and comes from one’s own inner fear. We need control over our inner fears to have the courage to live. Pictures from the boat trip with Adam, my youngest son, the last week-end.

  • Trust and confidence

    Trust and confidence are essential in close relations with love. Consider the many oddities we humans are devoted to in order to avoid closeness. Do you know the expression “alone is strong”? What a nonsense! Alone is afraid of intimacy. The other day I had the confidence to watch the marina. In the boat club we share the responsibility to watch each other’s boats. Together we become safer. We trust in each other. Compare this to a single boat in a small private dock. Independent, yes but insecure.

  • New times, new needs!

    The need for shopping malls in the Stockholm area is met, the need for housing is not. In 1995, the situation was quite different when a large car sales firm’s premises were transformed into Stinsen’s shopping center. It was even expanded and reopened in 2009, and the trade flourished. Now, all but a few shops have closed, and the inside of the once proud trade palace is gradually becoming increasingly empty. Now, the whole thing is to be demolished and new buildings with new housing will be built. There are no reasons to mourn. Things change just like life itself! A brand new shopping mall is built just across the…

  • A new destination!

    I needed a new destination and went for a walk in “Bergianska trädgården”, a botanical garden by the Stockholm University. Some early flowers were in bloom. The garden promised a wonderful flower splendor closer to the summer. I think I have been in the garden some thirty years ago. Now, I’ll be back!

  • Var har ni er? – Where do you have yours?

    Vi har vår i luften! Solen skiner och det är 8 plusgrader ute. Det håller inte att sitta inne och jag har ju sagt att det är dags igen att komma igen. Jag tog med kameran på dagens promenad, i fall där skulle finnas en bild. Jag drogs mot Edsviken. Där har jag min hemmahamn. Isen är på väg bort! Snart ligger båten i sjön igen. Här är sportlov den här veckan. Jag har inte längre sportlov och längtar nu istället till vår och värme. Idag fick jag en försmak! (Bilder med Nikon D500 och 16-80 mm 1:2,8-4 AF-S ED zoom. Framkallning från RAW i Lightroom.)

  • In memory!

    My father is dead. Considering how he lived his life, he grew old. Inheritance is important for longevity, but you probably also have to take care of yourself. As far as I know, it is a bit unclear what legacy I have. Grandfather drank too much and grandfather died in the Finnish Continuation War. My father also drank too much and probably did not grow as old as he could have been. But he had his life, and even though he drank away his family, he was my father. Without him I would not have existed. When he died, it turned out that he had left the church and left…

  • Bilden jag valde allra först – The photo I choose first

    Bilden jag valde allra först är den av flickan som satt på sin mammas axlar under körsbärsträden i Kungsträdgården i Stockholm. Jag tycker det är svårt att ta bilder av okänt folk. Man tränger sig liksom på! Men där stod jag med kameran på magen och plötsligt såg jag henne. Hon verkligen upplevde blommorna och njöt! Jag slängde upp kameran och tryckte av. En ren tillfällighet! (1/320 s, f/5.0, ISO 200, 185 mm)