• The love of swimming!

    Since long, I am well known as a ”bathing coward”. Google translate doesn’t translate the Swedish word “badkruka”, but I am talking about outdoor swimming in cold waters, I didn’t use to appreciate it. Mostly, it’s rather chilly in the waters of the Baltic sea. Ever since I got a boat of my own, gradually I’ve had to learn to appreciate swimming in cold waters. Like most of Europe, in recent weeks we have had high pressure weather and a heat wave. The water in the sea has become really comfortable. This weekend, it didn’t take much courage to swim. I could even wash the water line! Pictures by Carolina…

  • Warm love!

    Summer has really come to Sweden. We have a heat wave with temperatures above 30 degrees (Celsius). The weather was also exceptionally good recently during the important Midsummer weekend. Almost as if nature comforts us in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. We had a walk on Djurgården, an island in central Stockholm. There, in the middle of the capital, you will find beautiful and soothing scenery with stretches of forest and meadows, in addition to historical buildings and monuments, museums, galleries, an amusement park, the open-air museum Skansen, a small residential area, and yacht harbours. The Swedish monarch has held the right of disposition of Djurgården since the 15th…

  • In Our Pasture

    Contrary to what some domestic and foreign politicians believe, we in Sweden have taken strong measures to prevent the spread of the Covid-19 virus in the population. The future, when the pandemic is over, will tell us which actions around the world were the most effective. This year’s National Day celebration was different. Among other things, a distance choir was formed with more than 700 participants to welcome the summer and together sing “Uti vår hage”. “Uti vår hage” (“In our pasture or meadow”) is a traditional Swedish folk song first published around the 1880s, though it is considered to have origins as far back as the 1600s. The song…

  • Fear and Love

    We all carry inner fears. I think that when we recognize them and know them, we have the conditions necessary to reach the final stage of our ”adult development”. In our minds we have an idea of who we are. We have learned the idea of ourselves during life. Thoughts about ourselves have been shaped by success and adversity. We have learned to live our lives. But even if the thoughts, once formed, were appropriate, in adulthood they may have become an inner fear, a fear that complicates life. We are happy to defend our inner fear of discovery. Wouldn’t it be awful if someone discovered that we are inadequate…

  • Communicating love

    Whenever we want to communicate, we are usually anxious to be understood and to understand. Why do we overlook this when we try to communicate love? Is inner fear hindering us, or are there simply different languages of love? Do we talk past each other because we have different languages? Do you think your partner doesn’t understand you? Do you know what you need to understand love expressions? Have you thought about what makes your partner feel love? How do you communicate love with each other? I like manuals of living! They make me think and sometimes I learn. I stumbled across a book by Gary Chapman that describes a…

  • Love and trust.

    Trust is the foundation of love, and we can only truly love someone that we can trust. Love by itself isn’t enough, and really does not conquer all. I now know that I have to trust the one I Love. To have a healthy love relationship, I must have the guts to believe in my partner. Trust is necessary. Trust is a feature of love. Trust enhances love. A real love relationship is built upon trust. If your partner tends to break your trust in any way, it simply isn’t true love. Building trust requires commitment, and trust must be maintained. Trust requires listening to and communicating both our desires…

  • Chance and love.

    Very much happens by chance or at random. Admittedly, the right conditions need to prevail, but chance mostly has a big impact. Being lucky seems necessary! When it comes to love, I think we create the conditions ourselves. Brusquely expressed, I lost faith in love about six months ago. I was well on my way to become bitter and almost misogynous! But, I’m basically unhelpfully romantic and couldn’t stop believing that even for me, somewhere there was a great answered love. I just had to take it easy and stop hunting, but still be open to love! Suddenly and completely unexpectedly she was there. I fell in love and realized…

  • The language of love

    There is saying “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. In love relations this seems safe and easy, and you will probably get what you want in return. But imagine if you act completely unaware of the other’s wishes. Then you might become too selfish, simply a jerk. No one wants to be like that, right? I’d rather say “Treat others the way they want to be treated”. I enjoy being responsive, loving and generous but risk being perceived as too soft and without my own will. Fortunately, that’s a risk I’m prepared to take, and it seems to pay off! I now know that there is a love for each of…

  • Falling in love or enamoured hope!

    In the Swedish everyday language there are several words for love, kind of reflecting the different stages of the “love relation process”. The first stage, when we are falling in love, is called “förälskad” and may translate into English as “enamoured”, or “amorous”, or simply “in love with”.  I am into research and maybe I theorise too much. Anyway, I mean that stage when it all feels great and we are full of hope and dreams. We hope that our lover will deliver on all the promises our earlier relationships failed to fulfil, and we dream of remaining in love forever. All our love hormones are overflowing. This truly is…

  • Sustainable love

    It is really not sustainable to give up the belief in love. I am absolutely convinced that love even can last a long time. The vast majority of my friends do live with love in long-term relationships. Yes, I know it may not always have been a dance on roses, but still, they stick together and seem to appreciate each other. Nowadays I feel completely convinced that there is a wonderful person also for me. A great and loving woman whom I appreciate and who can appreciate me. I am an incurable romantic and believe we can find a love that is genuine, in which I and she recognize each…

  • Love and expectations.

    I find love and expectations difficult and it doesn’t seem to get easier with age. I am a romantic and think that practical or comfortable love is boring, but what are realistic expectations? Does it mean I can forget a great love, forget that person who makes it feel like bumblebees are buzzing in my chest? Does having realistic expectations mean that I should settle for someone who is okay, and that I should be happy with a partner who isn’t great? Actually, I would generally be okay with a partner who is human, just like me, and who, like me, is imperfect. I don’t expect myself and my partner…

  • Autumn Melancholy!

    In the autumn it is easy to feel sadness, yet many people like the autumn. Nature changes color and the air becomes cold and clear. It gets dark in the evenings and you can crawl up on the couch under a blanket, and light candles. It’s cozy! Even if you have everything important in life, and life is good, you can always find something to feel sorry for, if you really want to. Sometimes it may even feel cozy to feel a little sorry for oneself. Is it perhaps so that the cozy thing about autumn is because it attracts one to self-pity. When it is cold, dark and rainy…

  • The winter rest has begun.

    The fourth season with my boat is over. It’s been a great boating season, the Stockholm archipelago is really amazing and discovering it by motorboat suits me perfectly. The boat has everything needed for a holiday and with a reasonably large crew you have comfort. With just two on board, it is pure luxury! It has never been the idea of having a boat, but on the longer archipelago trip, I had new company, even this season. If I were the least superstitious, I would think that there is a curse on the boat when it comes to companionship. It doesn’t matter, I love the boat anyway! Mange and Lollo,…

  • With autumn comes the rain!

    You, all my faithful followers know that I have found a new way of life, I commute to work on my new electric bike! Cycling has been fine so far, but now with autumn comes the challenges. The temperature has been really low a few mornings and it is raining more and more. Luckily, I’m pretty stubborn once I’ve decided! (Some would call it pride. You are not half-Finnish for nothing!) There is no bad weather, just bad clothes! A little rain won’t stop me. It’s so much fun to ride a bike. It is refreshing and relaxing, purely meditative. I am more present when I ride a bike and…

  • I think, that’s how I am!

    Adam, my youngest son used to tell me I was thinking too much. Nowadays he is also a thinker. I wonder if it is bad to think too much. What is too much? Does it apply to all kinds of thoughts? Isn’t thinking a human tool that generally is far too little used? Okay, I think a lot, maybe too much. But, I like to think. That’s how I am!

  • Fear is the new safe!

    We live in a time of security mania. Taking it safe before the uncertain seems to be an increasingly common mantra. But, putting yourself at risk does not necessarily have to be fatal.Lack of trust in a relationship can lead to an awkward feeling of insecurity. But, in order to build trust, we need the courage to be in uncertainty for a time.The saddest thing in this context is that the feeling of insecurity is often imagined and comes from one’s own inner fear. We need control over our inner fears to have the courage to live. Pictures from the boat trip with Adam, my youngest son, the last week-end.

  • Comforting archipelago nights

    Nights can be scary. You might feel alone and left out to dangerous and alien beings. In the archipelago, on the other hand, at night there is a calm tranquility and you never feel alone. You feel like part of nature and the nature takes care of and protects you. We are all part of nature. Unfortunately, many of us have forgotten that insight. I think that’s why we enjoy staying in the nature. Why we feel safe at sea or in the woods, even at night. We feel that we are part of nature. We feel a connection.

  • Trust and confidence

    Trust and confidence are essential in close relations with love. Consider the many oddities we humans are devoted to in order to avoid closeness. Do you know the expression “alone is strong”? What a nonsense! Alone is afraid of intimacy. The other day I had the confidence to watch the marina. In the boat club we share the responsibility to watch each other’s boats. Together we become safer. We trust in each other. Compare this to a single boat in a small private dock. Independent, yes but insecure.

  • New times, new needs!

    The need for shopping malls in the Stockholm area is met, the need for housing is not. In 1995, the situation was quite different when a large car sales firm’s premises were transformed into Stinsen’s shopping center. It was even expanded and reopened in 2009, and the trade flourished. Now, all but a few shops have closed, and the inside of the once proud trade palace is gradually becoming increasingly empty. Now, the whole thing is to be demolished and new buildings with new housing will be built. There are no reasons to mourn. Things change just like life itself! A brand new shopping mall is built just across the…

  • Till minne – In memory!

    Min far är död. Med tanke på hur han levde sitt liv blev han gammal. Arvet är viktigt för livslängden men man måste troligen även ta hand om sig. Vad jag vet så är det lite oklart vilket arv jag har. Farfar drack för mycket och morfar dog i det finska fortsättningskriget. Även min far drack för mycket och blev nog inte så gammal som han hade kunnat bli. Men han hade sitt liv och även om han söp bort sin familj så var han min far. Utan honom hade jag inte funnits. När han dog visade det sig att han hade gått ur kyrkan och lämnade inte några önskemål…