• The love of swimming!

    Since long, I am well known as a ”bathing coward”. Google translate doesn’t translate the Swedish word “badkruka”, but I am talking about outdoor swimming in cold waters, I didn’t use to appreciate it. Mostly, it’s rather chilly in the waters of the Baltic sea. Ever since I got a boat of my own, gradually I’ve had to learn to appreciate swimming in cold waters. Like most of Europe, in recent weeks we have had high pressure weather and a heat wave. The water in the sea has become really comfortable. This weekend, it didn’t take much courage to swim. I could even wash the water line! Pictures by Carolina…

  • Fear and Love

    We all carry inner fears. I think that when we recognize them and know them, we have the conditions necessary to reach the final stage of our ”adult development”. In our minds we have an idea of who we are. We have learned the idea of ourselves during life. Thoughts about ourselves have been shaped by success and adversity. We have learned to live our lives. But even if the thoughts, once formed, were appropriate, in adulthood they may have become an inner fear, a fear that complicates life. We are happy to defend our inner fear of discovery. Wouldn’t it be awful if someone discovered that we are inadequate…

  • Love and trust.

    Trust is the foundation of love, and we can only truly love someone that we can trust. Love by itself isn’t enough, and really does not conquer all. I now know that I have to trust the one I Love. To have a healthy love relationship, I must have the guts to believe in my partner. Trust is necessary. Trust is a feature of love. Trust enhances love. A real love relationship is built upon trust. If your partner tends to break your trust in any way, it simply isn’t true love. Building trust requires commitment, and trust must be maintained. Trust requires listening to and communicating both our desires…

  • Doing Stockholm!

    I am rarely down town, even though I live and work near Stockholm city. This Christmas and New Year I had a little longer leave. It has been a wonderful vacation! I even had the opportunity “to do the town”. Me and my lovely sweetheart had lunch at Medelhavsmuseet, the Museum of Mediterranean and Near Eastern Antiquities. In the museum you will find Bagdad cafe, a delicious restaurant and wine bar. Tables are nicely placed among exhibition booths.  We wanted to celebrate the day with a drink! Unfortunately, the bar at Katarinahissen was closed, but the view of Riddarfjärden, Gamla stan and Stadsgården was beautiful. We went to the nice bar…

  • Chance and love.

    Very much happens by chance or at random. Admittedly, the right conditions need to prevail, but chance mostly has a big impact. Being lucky seems necessary! When it comes to love, I think we create the conditions ourselves. Brusquely expressed, I lost faith in love about six months ago. I was well on my way to become bitter and almost misogynous! But, I’m basically unhelpfully romantic and couldn’t stop believing that even for me, somewhere there was a great answered love. I just had to take it easy and stop hunting, but still be open to love! Suddenly and completely unexpectedly she was there. I fell in love and realized…

  • Forget the modesty!

    You can really wonder why I’m blogging and why I’ve started posting about my feelings on the internet. This website started out as a kind of photo blog just because I wanted to learn blogging. But, honestly, I actually find photo blogs without text pretty boring even if the pictures may be really nice. Not all pictures do tell more than a thousand words! To me, a blog isn’t like posting on Facebook or Instagram. I confess I’m posting there to get many likes! On this blog, however, I can see the viewer statistics and where you viewers reside but nothing more. If you are a WordPress user and likes…

  • The language of love

    There is saying “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. In love relations this seems safe and easy, and you will probably get what you want in return. But imagine if you act completely unaware of the other’s wishes. Then you might become too selfish, simply a jerk. No one wants to be like that, right? I’d rather say “Treat others the way they want to be treated”. I enjoy being responsive, loving and generous but risk being perceived as too soft and without my own will. Fortunately, that’s a risk I’m prepared to take, and it seems to pay off! I now know that there is a love for each of…

  • Reciprocated love

    Some say unrequited love is real love but I can’t disagree more. Some say the less reciprocation there is, the more desire we have! I do believe they are horribly wrong. I would argue, however, that love without response is like an important question without an answer. I have been in love when I haven’t had the same reciprocated emotion, and it hurts. Not a pleasant soul pain like a sliver of autumn depression, but a nagging and joy-killing. Love has now suddenly arisen in my life and I feel that she really cares. She seems to see the imperfect me perfect. The love is mutually answered. The pictures are…

  • Falling in love or enamoured hope!

    In the Swedish everyday language there are several words for love, kind of reflecting the different stages of the “love relation process”. The first stage, when we are falling in love, is called “förälskad” and may translate into English as “enamoured”, or “amorous”, or simply “in love with”.  I am into research and maybe I theorise too much. Anyway, I mean that stage when it all feels great and we are full of hope and dreams. We hope that our lover will deliver on all the promises our earlier relationships failed to fulfil, and we dream of remaining in love forever. All our love hormones are overflowing. This truly is…

  • Love and expectations.

    I find love and expectations difficult and it doesn’t seem to get easier with age. I am a romantic and think that practical or comfortable love is boring, but what are realistic expectations? Does it mean I can forget a great love, forget that person who makes it feel like bumblebees are buzzing in my chest? Does having realistic expectations mean that I should settle for someone who is okay, and that I should be happy with a partner who isn’t great? Actually, I would generally be okay with a partner who is human, just like me, and who, like me, is imperfect. I don’t expect myself and my partner…

  • Without love!

    Love is not finding someone to live with, it’s finding the one you don’t want to live without! I tend to learn stepwise. Sudden insights make me understand. This quote on love made me realize that I have been chasing love the wrong way.  I am divorced since long, and am ashamed of not succeeding in the marriage. In addition, since my divorce I have not been able to keep a lasting love relation. This adds to my guilt. But, before I didn’t have the understanding I got from the quote above. Some years ago I actually stumbled upon the kind of love that is hard to live without. I haven’t realized this before. Unfortunately, she…

  • The winter rest has begun.

    The fourth season with my boat is over. It’s been a great boating season, the Stockholm archipelago is really amazing and discovering it by motorboat suits me perfectly. The boat has everything needed for a holiday and with a reasonably large crew you have comfort. With just two on board, it is pure luxury! It has never been the idea of having a boat, but on the longer archipelago trip, I had new company, even this season. If I were the least superstitious, I would think that there is a curse on the boat when it comes to companionship. It doesn’t matter, I love the boat anyway! Mange and Lollo,…

  • With autumn comes the rain!

    You, all my faithful followers know that I have found a new way of life, I commute to work on my new electric bike! Cycling has been fine so far, but now with autumn comes the challenges. The temperature has been really low a few mornings and it is raining more and more. Luckily, I’m pretty stubborn once I’ve decided! (Some would call it pride. You are not half-Finnish for nothing!) There is no bad weather, just bad clothes! A little rain won’t stop me. It’s so much fun to ride a bike. It is refreshing and relaxing, purely meditative. I am more present when I ride a bike and…

  • Righteousness and prejudice!

    Electric bicycle, it’s cheating! Ever since I started commuting to work on an electric pedal bike, I have encountered prejudice. The cheating accusations kick off my guilt and shame issues, and I get sad whenever I proudly tell someone that I have started commuting by electric bike, and hear that it is cheating. How’s that cheating? Either way, now I’ve been commuting on my electric bike for a month. Previously, with my regular 24-speed bike, I have not been able to maintain bike commuting for such a long period. It is great fun! I get lively and happy! I am proud of myself!

  • I think, that’s how I am!

    Adam, my youngest son used to tell me I was thinking too much. Nowadays he is also a thinker. I wonder if it is bad to think too much. What is too much? Does it apply to all kinds of thoughts? Isn’t thinking a human tool that generally is far too little used? Okay, I think a lot, maybe too much. But, I like to think. That’s how I am!

  • To exercise, or not!

    I regularly travel by bus to work. It’s nice to sit and think while I look through the bus window and listen to the sounds around me. By the way, smartphone headphones just fall out of my ears. It is convenient to ride the bus but I do not get much exercise. Regular job commuting by bike would definitely increase the chance of good health and a more attractive body. I have several times decided to cycle the almost 14 kilometers to work but it has never become a habit. I find great pleasure in technical gadgets with good features and a nice design. Furthermore, whenever I feel a little…

  • The second bloom!

    It is wonderful in the early summer when the roses bloom, but the second flowering in late summer is also lovely. I myself have for a long time tried to bring about a second flowering in my own life. I know, you should be careful about whining and appearing unsuccessful in social media, but this is not Facebook, and I write what I want in my own blog! Depending on how you look at it, I know I actually have a very good life, but I do miss a love partner and that lack occupies too much of my thoughts and feelings. My youngest son tells me I think too…

  • Fear is the new safe!

    We live in a time of security mania. Taking it safe before the uncertain seems to be an increasingly common mantra. But, putting yourself at risk does not necessarily have to be fatal.Lack of trust in a relationship can lead to an awkward feeling of insecurity. But, in order to build trust, we need the courage to be in uncertainty for a time.The saddest thing in this context is that the feeling of insecurity is often imagined and comes from one’s own inner fear. We need control over our inner fears to have the courage to live. Pictures from the boat trip with Adam, my youngest son, the last week-end.

  • Trust and confidence

    Trust and confidence are essential in close relations with love. Consider the many oddities we humans are devoted to in order to avoid closeness. Do you know the expression “alone is strong”? What a nonsense! Alone is afraid of intimacy. The other day I had the confidence to watch the marina. In the boat club we share the responsibility to watch each other’s boats. Together we become safer. We trust in each other. Compare this to a single boat in a small private dock. Independent, yes but insecure.

  • New times, new needs!

    The need for shopping malls in the Stockholm area is met, the need for housing is not. In 1995, the situation was quite different when a large car sales firm’s premises were transformed into Stinsen’s shopping center. It was even expanded and reopened in 2009, and the trade flourished. Now, all but a few shops have closed, and the inside of the once proud trade palace is gradually becoming increasingly empty. Now, the whole thing is to be demolished and new buildings with new housing will be built. There are no reasons to mourn. Things change just like life itself! A brand new shopping mall is built just across the…