• Misleading targeting

    For many years, the path to success and happiness has been considered to be setting goals to work towards. It’s a pleasant thought that may seem simple, obvious and straightforward. Success may have been the original idea of goal setting, but I think it has been misplaced and distorted for many different reasons. Success in a business context is efficiency and profit. In order to know whether the goals are being achieved, production measures are needed that can be evaluated. The production industry has developed a complete system for performance measurement. Nothing wrong with that, but when you apply the same system to public administration, to education or to health…

  • Forethought vs pessimism

    I experience a general lack of forethought. In most cases, it actually is best to think before, to be thoughtful. In the world today, from small to large, you really see the consequences of quick decisions and lack of foresight! I do not know if the word “forethought” is used in English but it appears in Google Translate when I write the Swedish word “förtänksamhet”. The Swedish word is included in the Swedish Academy’s Dictionary and means thoughtful, deliberative, considerate or prudent. Simply someone who gives a thought on what might happen in the future, and in time adapts their actions accordingly. Modern people who lack the ability to be…

  • Quantum satis

    There is a concept that is said to only exist in Swedish. The term indicates a satisfactory amount adapted for its purpose, neither too much that destroys nor too little that is not enough to achieve the desired result. I think it is called “quantum satis” in Latin, in Swedish it is called “lagom”. The English translation could be “just right” or “adequate” but the meaning is not quite the same. Anyway, in love relationships, I’m way too kind and compliant. I have a lot of psychological explanations for this but they are not very helpful, and I’m not getting better at being “just right kind enough”. Of course, it…

  • To do, or not to do it, yourself!

    I came up with the idea to renovate the kitchen in my little townhouse. It did not come suddenly, I have planned it for the twelve years I have lived here. It has felt like a big project, but now it was time. I wanted to treat myself to it. It would be done thoroughly, a complete renovation, floors, ceilings, walls, cabinets and appliances. And I would do almost everything myself. I chose a kitchen from IKEA. It felt best for a self-made carpenter.  It is actually not difficult to assemble an IKEA kitchen. All that is needed is foresight and careful planning. A kitchen planner helped with ordering and…

  • With hope for the future!

    Very soon, the year 2020 will end. In many ways, it has been a terrible year. In Sweden, it turns out that new public management and the just-in-time economy have made us very vulnerable to a plague like the Corona pandemic. Hopefully we will learn something from the ordeal that the Covid-19 virus entails. In any case, we did not want to listen to the warnings and we should have understood better.  With joint efforts, we will pass this torment as well. But the year has not only been miserable. Just before the year started, I fell very much in love even though I had actually given up the opportunity…

  • Santa Claus is coming to town!

    The tradition of sending Christmas cards started in Britain in the 1840s.  The practice of sending Christmas greetings on colored postcards soon spread both to the United States and via Germany and Denmark to Sweden. In Sweden, it became popular to send Christmas cards at the end of the 19th century and the tradition is still very popular. With her very popular Christmas card motifs, the artist Jenny Nyström gave us the image of the Swedish Santa Claus, Christmas presents and a Christmas tree (jultomten, julklappar och julgranen). My sons and I have a tradition of creating our own Christmas card, perhaps a little less traditional or at least with a…

  • The love of swimming!

    Since long, I am well known as a ”bathing coward”. Google translate doesn’t translate the Swedish word “badkruka”, but I am talking about outdoor swimming in cold waters, I didn’t use to appreciate it. Mostly, it’s rather chilly in the waters of the Baltic sea. Ever since I got a boat of my own, gradually I’ve had to learn to appreciate swimming in cold waters. Like most of Europe, in recent weeks we have had high pressure weather and a heat wave. The water in the sea has become really comfortable. This weekend, it didn’t take much courage to swim. I could even wash the water line! Pictures by Carolina…

  • Fear and Love

    We all carry inner fears. I think that when we recognize them and know them, we have the conditions necessary to reach the final stage of our ”adult development”. In our minds we have an idea of who we are. We have learned the idea of ourselves during life. Thoughts about ourselves have been shaped by success and adversity. We have learned to live our lives. But even if the thoughts, once formed, were appropriate, in adulthood they may have become an inner fear, a fear that complicates life. We are happy to defend our inner fear of discovery. Wouldn’t it be awful if someone discovered that we are inadequate…

  • Love and trust.

    Trust is the foundation of love, and we can only truly love someone that we can trust. Love by itself isn’t enough, and really does not conquer all. I now know that I have to trust the one I Love. To have a healthy love relationship, I must have the guts to believe in my partner. Trust is necessary. Trust is a feature of love. Trust enhances love. A real love relationship is built upon trust. If your partner tends to break your trust in any way, it simply isn’t true love. Building trust requires commitment, and trust must be maintained. Trust requires listening to and communicating both our desires…

  • Doing Stockholm!

    I am rarely down town, even though I live and work near Stockholm city. This Christmas and New Year I had a little longer leave. It has been a wonderful vacation! I even had the opportunity “to do the town”. Me and my lovely sweetheart had lunch at Medelhavsmuseet, the Museum of Mediterranean and Near Eastern Antiquities. In the museum you will find Bagdad cafe, a delicious restaurant and wine bar. Tables are nicely placed among exhibition booths.  We wanted to celebrate the day with a drink! Unfortunately, the bar at Katarinahissen was closed, but the view of Riddarfjärden, Gamla stan and Stadsgården was beautiful. We went to the nice bar…

  • Chance and love.

    Very much happens by chance or at random. Admittedly, the right conditions need to prevail, but chance mostly has a big impact. Being lucky seems necessary! When it comes to love, I think we create the conditions ourselves. Brusquely expressed, I lost faith in love about six months ago. I was well on my way to become bitter and almost misogynous! But, I’m basically unhelpfully romantic and couldn’t stop believing that even for me, somewhere there was a great answered love. I just had to take it easy and stop hunting, but still be open to love! Suddenly and completely unexpectedly she was there. I fell in love and realized…

  • Forget the modesty!

    You can really wonder why I’m blogging and why I’ve started posting about my feelings on the internet. This website started out as a kind of photo blog just because I wanted to learn blogging. But, honestly, I actually find photo blogs without text pretty boring even if the pictures may be really nice. Not all pictures do tell more than a thousand words! To me, a blog isn’t like posting on Facebook or Instagram. I confess I’m posting there to get many likes! On this blog, however, I can see the viewer statistics and where you viewers reside but nothing more. If you are a WordPress user and likes…

  • The language of love

    There is saying “Treat others the way you want to be treated”. In love relations this seems safe and easy, and you will probably get what you want in return. But imagine if you act completely unaware of the other’s wishes. Then you might become too selfish, simply a jerk. No one wants to be like that, right? I’d rather say “Treat others the way they want to be treated”. I enjoy being responsive, loving and generous but risk being perceived as too soft and without my own will. Fortunately, that’s a risk I’m prepared to take, and it seems to pay off! I now know that there is a love for each of…

  • Reciprocated love

    Some say unrequited love is real love but I can’t disagree more. Some say the less reciprocation there is, the more desire we have! I do believe they are horribly wrong. I would argue, however, that love without response is like an important question without an answer. I have been in love when I haven’t had the same reciprocated emotion, and it hurts. Not a pleasant soul pain like a sliver of autumn depression, but a nagging and joy-killing. Love has now suddenly arisen in my life and I feel that she really cares. She seems to see the imperfect me perfect. The love is mutually answered. The pictures are…

  • Falling in love or enamoured hope!

    In the Swedish everyday language there are several words for love, kind of reflecting the different stages of the “love relation process”. The first stage, when we are falling in love, is called “förälskad” and may translate into English as “enamoured”, or “amorous”, or simply “in love with”.  I am into research and maybe I theorise too much. Anyway, I mean that stage when it all feels great and we are full of hope and dreams. We hope that our lover will deliver on all the promises our earlier relationships failed to fulfil, and we dream of remaining in love forever. All our love hormones are overflowing. This truly is…

  • Love and expectations.

    I find love and expectations difficult and it doesn’t seem to get easier with age. I am a romantic and think that practical or comfortable love is boring, but what are realistic expectations? Does it mean I can forget a great love, forget that person who makes it feel like bumblebees are buzzing in my chest? Does having realistic expectations mean that I should settle for someone who is okay, and that I should be happy with a partner who isn’t great? Actually, I would generally be okay with a partner who is human, just like me, and who, like me, is imperfect. I don’t expect myself and my partner…

  • Without love!

    Love is not finding someone to live with, it’s finding the one you don’t want to live without! I tend to learn stepwise. Sudden insights make me understand. This quote on love made me realize that I have been chasing love the wrong way.  I am divorced since long, and am ashamed of not succeeding in the marriage. In addition, since my divorce I have not been able to keep a lasting love relation. This adds to my guilt. But, before I didn’t have the understanding I got from the quote above. Some years ago I actually stumbled upon the kind of love that is hard to live without. I haven’t realized this before. Unfortunately, she…

  • The winter rest has begun.

    The fourth season with my boat is over. It’s been a great boating season, the Stockholm archipelago is really amazing and discovering it by motorboat suits me perfectly. The boat has everything needed for a holiday and with a reasonably large crew you have comfort. With just two on board, it is pure luxury! It has never been the idea of having a boat, but on the longer archipelago trip, I had new company, even this season. If I were the least superstitious, I would think that there is a curse on the boat when it comes to companionship. It doesn’t matter, I love the boat anyway! Mange and Lollo,…

  • With autumn comes the rain!

    You, all my faithful followers know that I have found a new way of life, I commute to work on my new electric bike! Cycling has been fine so far, but now with autumn comes the challenges. The temperature has been really low a few mornings and it is raining more and more. Luckily, I’m pretty stubborn once I’ve decided! (Some would call it pride. You are not half-Finnish for nothing!) There is no bad weather, just bad clothes! A little rain won’t stop me. It’s so much fun to ride a bike. It is refreshing and relaxing, purely meditative. I am more present when I ride a bike and…

  • Righteousness and prejudice!

    Electric bicycle, it’s cheating! Ever since I started commuting to work on an electric pedal bike, I have encountered prejudice. The cheating accusations kick off my guilt and shame issues, and I get sad whenever I proudly tell someone that I have started commuting by electric bike, and hear that it is cheating. How’s that cheating? Either way, now I’ve been commuting on my electric bike for a month. Previously, with my regular 24-speed bike, I have not been able to maintain bike commuting for such a long period. It is great fun! I get lively and happy! I am proud of myself!