I have discovered that I need to feel passion to have enough drive. I have a passion for my job and it has become far too important in my self-realization. I have the drive for much else, but when it comes to meeting a dear and really close friend to feel love for, my drive has gradually diminished by the failed attempts. This is a problem I do not want to accept. I’m not giving up. I am learning and have the courage to keep trying.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately and found that I need to feel a sense of trust and closeness. It is not very unique and when you are someone who falls in love as soon as someone seems to like you, you might be lucky and may be able to develop a sustainable relationship, but the chance of success is small. I’ve tried.
Something seems to be missing and if so much else in life gets better with passion, this is of course what has been missed. But what exactly is passion? How can one distinguish a passionate love from an ordinary new love? The feeling of being filled with energy, feeling scared, but at the same time more vital than ever is very reminiscent of an ordinary new love. If you take one step at a time and listen carefully inwards, you may be able to discover if there is passion. If you feel true to yourself when you listen, then maybe there is passion! Just trust, just closeness, or both trust and closeness are not enough. It is the combination of trust, closeness and passion that is required for a lasting love to develop.
That is of course how it is! Now I really do feel hope!
Freely speculated and perhaps far too much thought! Inspired by events in my life and by Einar Wiman at https://www.motivation.se/innehall/hitta-din-sanna-passion/
This summer I actually read a really thick book! I rarely indulge in reading novels or a thicker book that cannot be read in one go. I have learned that I am worthy of being liked only when I perform or am obedient and compliant. To “just” read and to devote myself to me is frightening! On the other hand, I love to learn and to understand and there is a lot of wisdom written in books.
The book I have read is not really a novel but can probably be classified as a manual in humanity. It assumes that man is good and describes it in a convincing way. It is man’s natural goodness that has made us what we are today. Helpfulness and cohesion have been a prerequisite for our success as a species. For the most part, we work together and feel trust in each other. In meetings with others, we usually experience kindness.
But, how does this go together with all the evil deeds that humans are capable of? Based on a series of crucial historical events and research studies, the book’s author sheds new light on human actions. The notion that man is basically selfish and controlled by self-interest is deeply rooted in our Western tradition of thought. Our societal debate assumes that we are egoistic and only think of ourselves. Our view of ourselves is of crucial importance for how we solve the societal challenges of the future.
It is high time for a new discussion about human nature. The book provides an opportunity to see humanity in a new way. The book is an international bestseller! I read the Swedish translation called “I grunden god“. The author is Rutger Bregman, a Dutch historian. The English title is “Humankind: A Hopeful History“.
If you, like me, feel guilty when you are lazy and “only” read a book, I can warmly recommend this book. It really makes a difference to understanding!
There are indeed many wise and kind people on the Internet who share their wisdom. It’s just a matter of finding them in all the information noise and among all the loudmouths. Like when I felt abandoned and unsuccessful because I could not find love but found a wisdom that a friend posted (1).
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It’s not about finding someone to live with, but finding the one you do not want to live without!
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Many before me have probably understood this. To me, that wisdom made all the difference anyway. It gave me the insight I needed. Today a friend wrote about the meaning of life in her blog on WordPress (2).
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It is not about finding the meaning of life but about finding the
meaning in life.
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It may seem a very small difference between “of” and “in” but it really made my thinking about the meaning of life evolve to something else. An absolutely wonderful insight!
The links to my friends’ sites:
The pictures in this post were taken the other day in an allotment garden nearby.